When Your Soul says No, but Your Hands say Yes
- Naema
- 17 hours ago
- 4 min read
We all love doing things we don't want to do, says…literally no one ever. And yet, somehow, life keeps shoving us into situations where our hands are busy doing the “right” thing while our soul file formal complaints to the Department of Unwanted Labour. Why do we do things we’d rather not, and can those half-hearted acts still count as…good? Think helping a friend study when all you want is Netflix, or pretending to enjoy terrible homemade cookies. These are classic cases of good deeds performed under duress. So, is goodness about what we feel, or just what actually gets done?
Intentions vs Outcome: The Eternal Moral Tug-of-War
First up: Kant, the OG moral perfectionist, insists that an action only counts as “good” if your heart is genuinely in it. The man who basically said, “Good actions don't count unless your heart is fully clocked in.”
His famous line:
Act only according to that maxim whereby you can, at the same time, will that it should become a universal law.
In normal human language:
If you're gonna do something, make sure your reason isn't embarrassing enough to hide from the world.
So if you help your friend move boxes, but mentally you're praying for the floor to swallow you whole? Kant would raise an eyebrow. According to him, moral goodness needs pure intention, not fine lah. I guess. Effort without enthusiasm? Cute, but not noble.
Then we slide over to Mill, the complete opposite.
Mill is basically the friend who says, “As long as everyone ends up happy, babe, who cares how you felt doing it?” In short: Results > Feelings.
You don't want to volunteer? Too bad. If it helps people, Mill stamps it as morally good.
Helping your friend study while quietly regretting your life choices? Still good.
Dragging yourself to a charity event because someone begged you? Mill says, “Iconic. Approved.”
So we end up with the universe’s driest but juiciest debate:
Kant: Goodness comes from the heart
Mill: Goodness comes from the outcome
You: Caught in between, trying to care and trying to nap at the same time.
In the end, it's a tug of war between doing things for the right reasons and actually making a difference…and how much you care mostly depends on how many mental tabs you have open.
Life isn't always black and white.
I loved observing. I noticed that people perform “goodness” very differently. Some relatives loudly announced their good deeds, practically for applause. While others quietly served food, washed dishes or made sure everyone felt included without needing applause, I always liked watching these quiet doers. Even if I acted like I didn't care, a little part of me loved just sitting there, soaking it all in.
Those little moments shaped how I think about goodness: the small, unshowy acts often feel the most real. Kant's idea that moral worth comes from intention makes sense here: these people weren't doing it for the spotlight, just because they wanted to. But Mill also has a point: the outcome still matters. My childhood memories live somewhere in between; intention gives a deed heart, the outcomes give it teeth, and together, that's what makes it count. That's why I think a good deed doesn't need a fanfare or full enthusiasm since intention and impact together are enough.
Sometimes, no matter how much you analyse Kant or Mill, real life doesn't follow philosophy textbooks. Actions aren't neatly good or bad; they're messy, inconvenient, and sometimes make you wonder why you even exist. You help a friend study while silently wishing for a teleportation device. You attend a family dinner you don't want to go to, only to realise your relatives are thriving while your patience evaporates. You nod and smile at someone’s long-winded story, even though inside you're mentally drafting your grocery list.
Most “good deeds” live somewhere in this gray zone: your effort might be half-hearted, your enthusiasm on vacation, and yet…someone still benefits. The world keeps moving, people keep surviving, and somehow, you survive too. Life isn't about perfect intentions or flawless outcomes; it's about doing what you can without losing your sanity, and maybe perfecting the art of looking like you care.
Good, or just convenient?
After all this moral gymnastics, where does it leave us? Truth is, most of our “good deeds” aren't heroic acts; they're often motivated by guilt, fear, or the bare minimum amount of effort. And yet…somehow, all of it still counts. Someone benefits, things get done, and the world keeps spinning while your soul files a 20-page complaint in the background. Moral perfection? Ha…life is about showing up, doing the bare minimum without losing your mind, and maybe pretending to care while thinking about literally anything else.
The takeaway? Goodness doesn't require pure intentions, emotional heroics or genuine enthusiasm. Sometimes it's enough to show up, do what's needed, and let someone else enjoy the benefits; even if your soul is screaming, “I did not sign up for this!” Hands say yes, soul says no, and somehow, that's still enough. Philosophers can argue over intentions and outcomes, but the rest of us? We survive, help a little, roll our eyes a lot, and occasionally accidentally do something good. And honestly, that's probably more than fine.
That little accidental goodness? It’s surprisingly satisfying.
Writer's Note:
Before writing, I got to dive into Kant and Mill, and honestly, reading them is kind of fun. I’ve always been curious about why we do things we don’t really feel like doing, like why our hands say yes while our soul screams no (look at me quoting the title hihi). It made me wonder…is there really such a thing as a “pure” good deed? Or do we just help, smile, or nod because we want praise, out of habit, or…well, just because it’s expected? Writing this piece let me play around with those ideas, laugh at myself a little, and realise that maybe goodness isn’t that deep, my loves. I mean let’s be real, it’s messy, half-hearted, and sometimes accidental, and somehow that’s still enough. Also, the “not fine lah” line? Just me having fun imagining Kant raising an eyebrow. (It’s not a quote, just me keeping things real.)
Comments