You Hate Nepotism Until It’s Your Cousin Getting the Job.

Naema
Nov 8, 2025
5 min read

We all love to hate nepotism — until it benefits someone we know.

It’s easy to roll our eyes at celebrity kids landing roles in blockbuster films or politicians hiring family members for high-paying positions. But when it’s your cousin, friend, or someone familiar who benefits from connections, suddenly it doesn’t feel that bad.

“They actually earned it,” we tell ourselves.

“It’s just a small advantage.”

And just like that, our moral outrage conveniently disappears.

As university students, we like to believe that merit is everything. We study hard, polish our Curriculum Vitae (CVs), and attend workshops on internships and career building because we want to achieve our success. But the truth is, many of us have already or will benefit from some form of connection that gives us a leg up. Maybe your internship came through your dad’s friend, or you landed a role in a student society because a senior vouched for you. We often call it networking, but sometimes, networking is just nepotism in a slightly softer, socially acceptable package.

The real question isn’t whether nepotism is fair; it’s whether it’s even possible to survive without it. In a system that already favours privilege, refusing to use the doors that are open to you can feel like self-sabotage. And that’s where things get complicated.

God forbid a loving family gives someone a job they actually require.

“Honesty is the first chapter in the book of wisdom.” — Thomas Jefferson.

I see no harm in that if they’re qualified. The real problem is when the person clearly isn’t capable, and suddenly we have the infamous ‘nepo baby’ scandal. Let’s be honest, that’s absurd.

Even the most self-made among us probably owes a little to connections along the way. Maybe someone whispered your name at the right meeting, a friend’s parent recommended you for a project, or you accidentally stumbled into an opportunity because of who you know. But sure, let’s all pretend we achieved everything entirely on our own, because humility is apparently overrated.

We tend to notice nepotism only when it’s blatant and public. The media loves reporting on “nepo babies” in Hollywood, politicians hiring siblings, or CEOs giving jobs to their relatives. But when it quietly helps someone we know, we call it networking, mentorship, or simply “being at the right place at the right time.”

And it’s not necessarily a bad thing. Connections exist because humans naturally operate in social networks. But pretending we’re above it, or that we’ve never benefited from connections, often feels disingenuous. Recognising these advantages isn’t about seeing that few of us ever start on a completely level playing field; it’s about noticing the boosts some of us got while others were left outside the door.

Networking vs Nepotism: The Blurred Line

Here’s where it gets tricky: the line between “networking” and “nepotism” is much blurrier than most of us admit. Networking sounds classy. Nepotism sounds shady. But when your best friend’s older brother gets you a job? Call it networking and hope no one notices.

Networking gets a trophy and a parade. Shakes hands, smiles at the right people, drops names; it’s called ambition, and we all clap. Nepotism? Suddenly, it’s a crime against humanity. Someone helps their blood, and the moral police came out like, “How dare you!”

Chill, it’s literally the same thing. The reality is, both networking and nepotism come down to the same thing: who you know. The difference usually depends on context and how people perceive it. — Naema

Take Hollywood, for example. Actors like Lily-Rose Depp or Jaden Smith; let's be real, yes, they have talent, but that last name is basically a golden ticket to the chocolate factory. Meanwhile, a middle-class student using a contract for an internship might be called ambitious. Both rely on connections; society just reads them differently.

On campus, it’s the same story. Leadership roles, club memberships, or academic opportunities often circulate in familiar circles. A senior recommends a junior, a friend tags someone in a committee email, or a tutor connects a student to a research opportunity. All of this can be called networking or, more honestly, nepotism in disguise. Even social media works like this: being “seen” by the right people can open doors just as effectively as family influence ever did.

Can We Really Survive Without It?

The tricky part? Realising just how much we all rely on connections. In fields like media, fashion, politics, or research, knowing the right people can be more important than talent or hard work because, apparently, showing up and being competent isn’t always enough.

So, is it hypocritical to criticise the system while still playing by its rules? Maybe. But it’s also pragmatic. Refusing to use the doors that are open to you can be self-sabotage in a world where not everyone starts on the same level. Some people are born into networks that provide opportunities effortlessly; others have to scramble for every advantage. In that sense, using connections is not about being unethical. It’s about survival.

It’s a hard truth, and one that most of us prefer not to confront. Pretending we’re entirely self-made ignores the invisible privileges that have opened doors along the way. Being honest about it doesn’t magically erase your achievements; shocker! It just makes you slightly less delusional about how much luck and connections played a part.

Honesty over Hypocrisy

Maybe the goal isn’t to completely reject nepotism; an impossible task in a system that inherently rewards privilege, but to approach it honestly. Recognising the advantages we’ve had doesn’t diminish our effort; it simply acknowledges that not everyone has access to the same doors.

Being honest about privilege, connections, and opportunities is better than pretending we’re entirely above it. By doing so, we can reflect on the system’s flaws, cheer for policies that pretend to level the playing field, and maybe even help others still stuck outside the doors we lucked our way through.

You don’t have to hate nepotism to want something fairer. You just have to be honest about the doors that opened for you and who’s still waiting outside. Awareness is the first step toward change, and pretending we’re above the system? Well, that’s just expensive theatre for one. — Naema

Writer's Notes:

I started noticing a funny pattern; we all love to complain about nepotism…until it benefits someone we know. Suddenly, moral outrage disappears, and we tell ourselves, “They actually earned it.” Writing this piece was my way of thinking through that hypocrisy, laughing at it a little while, and maybe making sense of how we navigate a world built on connections. Honestly, we can’t exactly run from it, so why not just accept it? There’s nothing wrong with that, dude. Full disclosure: I might come off a little mean in this piece…hihi, sorry in advance! It’s all in the spirit of a coffee-table conversation with sarcasm very much included.

Writer's Biography:

Hi! I’m Ayatun Naema, currently a foundation student who loves exploring the weird, funny, and messy realities of life. I especially enjoy literature, letting words capture thoughts and feelings I can’t always say out loud. I’m naturally shy, but actually, I’m observant. Get to know me and you’ll see I’m a little weird ^^. When I’m not writing, you’ll probably find me obsessing over music or overthinking literally everything. Hi Umi & Abah….I know you’re reading this <3