Friendships in the Age of Followers
- Hajar Haq
- Oct 3
- 7 min read
Friendships can be incredibly difficult to navigate, especially at the start of a new chapter in life. In our first edition of Notts Uncovered, Section Editor Hajar Haq explores the candid and heartwarming friendship of two girls in the Nottingham Foundation Programme.
My heart rate rises in satisfaction when I see my follower and following count rise beyond 200. Admittedly, a twinge of envy follows as I compare to my other friends’ and their stories show strangers in their lives—a social life. Groups of friends. Unknown places, and memories they make that I am unable to experience yet. Yet, all I describe is my pertinent objectification and glorification. Friendships perceived as a number in my assets rather than a person with thoughts, feelings, and stories. I wonder how many view it similarly—consciously or unconsciously—and wonder have we diminished the value of friendships and love?
The first steps onto campus are both exciting and scary; tons of freedom, but also you find yourself stranded in a new environment surrounded by hundreds of complete strangers. Considering my reflections, I approached two girls in the Nottingham Foundation Programme, Iman Zehra and Bali Meranti Adrian, from their tightly-knit group of five. Their bond particularly stood out, having been together since the start of Spring.
Question: Was there anything in common that brought you guys together?
Iman: Honestly, we are probably the only [Malaysian] Malay girls in our foundation cohort. We just naturally got together.
Question: Is your friendship now (in university) everything you guys imagined it to be?
Bali: The actual meeting each other and becoming friends wasn’t hard. I just didn’t really think like I’d have friends that I feel so close to. Because I consider myself more introverted and not really good at getting to know people.
Iman: Same boat. It was a really unexpected surprise. I didn’t really come in here thinking I was going to make such close bonds and like actually care about my new friends. I always just thought like, ‘oh, it's going to be a classmate in and out, just sit with them in the lecture and then go on about my day’. But I find myself making a lot of time for them and really enjoying having them in my life and I'm very grateful for it.
Question: You mentioned you’re all quite different from each other. Is there anything that keeps you guys grounded together?
Iman: I’d say we’re on similar wavelengths and have natural chemistry—I believe that’s always important in friendships. We could be the same person, but if you don’t have a certain vibe, then you can’t get along.
Bali: Yeah, in a way everybody always matches each other’s energy. We could talk about anything and there’s always somebody who is willing to listen.
“You’re not that kid anymore where you can just go up and ask people like, ‘Do you guys want to be friends?’” – Hajar Haq
Q: Do you think the reality of university friendships now matches the stories older generations tell?
Iman: I think if we’re talking about finding the right people, it varies person to person now. The older generations maybe found it easier to find those connections in real life because they mostly communicated in close physical proximity. But with technology now, I think some people might find connections elsewhere.
Question: Would you say relationships require effort to be genuine, or should it be genuine from the beginning?
Bali: I think it depends on the friendship, because different people just have different kinds of relationships. For some, your bond between each other can be considered low effort in a way you’ll always be there for them, but you don’t necessarily have to always be in contact. But for others, you may feel differently and it’s this thing where you always have to reach out.
Question: With the presence of social media and a certain image to portray to others, does it make genuine connections difficult?
Iman: Yeah, it’s true. What’s on social media isn’t necessarily reality. But then again, I don’t use my Instagram to make connections. I use it to express myself for the people who already know me.
Question: Are cracks in peoples’ ‘curated persona’ a reason some abandon relationships quickly?
Iman: It depends on your connection, really. Like this influencer on Love Island, she had so many of her influencer friends vouching for her, supporting her. But when she trended for a slur that came out–which wasn’t anything crazy or used in a very derogatory manner–immediately her friends turned on her.
“Because social media is all about being perceived a certain way. You’d have to keep up appearances always.” – Iman Zehra
As we conversed further, we explored the quiet erosion of physical interaction—an element once deemed essential seemingly replaced during the technological adaptation during COVID-19. Online friendships, while efficient, often rely on perfectly crafted messages and engaging with multiple people simultaneously. They offer control, but rarely intimacy. Whereas in-person friendships thrive more on spontaneous moments, and navigating the vulnerability of face-to-face connection. To a certain extent, we deepen our human connection more than what the base of our fingertips and electricity can offer with in-person social skills. Per the words of Derek Thompson, “a socially underdeveloped childhood leads to social stunted adulthood.”
It shifts the importance towards the need for third spaces—like parks or libraries. They are communal environments that exist outside of the traditional "first spaces" (home) and "second spaces" (work or school). These places serve as gathering hubs where people can socialize, collaborate, and engage in meaningful experiences without the obligations of home or work life.
Question: Would you say people need more third spaces more than ever?
Iman: Yes. I agree with the complaints, especially in Malaysia, about the lacking third spaces. Because I can’t leave the house without spending so much money (with friends).
Question: Are free games like Roblox, or other online games, considered the new third space?
Bali: I think so.
Iman: Yeah, like my baby cousin, they don’t really go to the playground anymore (which is a third space). They make a lot of connections and friends on Roblox. It’s accessible, but it is still dangerous.
Question: Technology does really only require a socket and Wi-Fi, which is almost the most universally free thing in life. Other than games, do even AI chatbots combat loneliness?
Bali: I think it’s like a temporary solution to loneliness. They get this sort of instant gratification when talking to it because they feel it’s talking back to them. But the more they talk to that bot, the more lonelier they’re going to get.
Question: Eventually, do you think AI could just learn human connection?
Iman: Not really. I think it can, like Bali said, give instant gratification by mimicking human connection, but it’s never going to be the real thing. If anything, it drives loneliness.
Bali: Yeah, it replicates the feeling of giving somebody attention because most of these users just really want to feel heard and have somebody to talk to.
“And the thing about AI is that it doesn’t really care what you say. You could say anything, and it will still be attentive towards you.” – B. M. Adrian
Question: So to wrap up, would you consider technology has affected how we connect (and losing human emotion), or are we just simply evolving to accommodate technology as a tool?
Bali: It’s somewhat both. I do believe the newer generation, specifically, is losing that capability and understanding how to interact in the real world (physical interaction and understanding emotions). But I do think technology also bridged a lot more communication to happen. You can make more friends easily online by connecting through similar interests.
Iman: I also believe the accessibility of technology makes people lose their social skills because, as Bali said, interaction online isn’t really the same as meeting in real-life. It’s different because people portray themselves differently on social media. Socially, I do agree with Bali, you can make connections more easily. But being accommodated and exposed to something very similar does kind of strip people of autonomy by listening to what other people say. I think that’s why we see more insensitive people nowadays too.
Final Question: If any of the new intake (Sep 2025/26) asked you for your advice on making friends, what would it be?
"My advice would be to say yes to opportunities and plans. Even if you feel a bit awkward, you'll never know until you explore" -- Iman Zehra & B. M. Adrian
More about the interviewee(s):
Iman Zehra is currently in the Foundation of Science and plans to continue in Biomedical Science for her undergraduate degree. Her warmhearted personality shines through her baked goods that she makes in her free time.
Bali Meranti Adrian is in the Foundation of Arts and Social Sciences, she’s a die-hard The Marias fan (to a point she got noticed by their personal project account!), and Letterboxd enthusiast. Currently, she’s part of the Education Network Marketing team and plans to go into International Communication with Film for her undergraduate degree.
Writer's Notes:
“Friendships in the Age of Followers”: It’s a very broad topic discussed between two friends with personal input, so I don’t think it needed a lot of analysis. Rather, it follows a more narrative-based style with questions placed as thinking points for not just the interviewees, but also the readers. In fact, the topic itself can be seen throughout the pair’s responses; although they both have different speech styles, beneath it you can tell they have a shared understanding of friendships and knowledge that allows them to thoughtfully report their answers (with one often waiting for the other’s input).
Moreover, the long responses between two people would, I believe, make it quite a hot-cold piece (if that makes sense) in the case I overtly explained the factual side of things. In the end, this is still a conversation between (unexpectedly good friends in their cases) during their very first year in, what others may call, the ‘real world’.
However, that isn’t to dismiss the breaching topics the pair could relate—from comparing past and present, to the nature of relationships, and how it’s all been affected by technology vis a vis social media, Artificial Intelligence (AI), and games—they thoughtfully settled into discussing the way society’s being physically and intrinsically shaped today from their point of views.
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