Reality Dating Shows: Slops or Bops?
- Zhi En
- 6 days ago
- 4 min read
As Single’s Inferno heats up with its Season 5 premiere, our Film and TV writer Zhi En dives headfirst into the messy, addictive world of reality dating shows. Are they mindless slops, or undeniable bops we can’t stop watching?
Romance has always been revered as a special sort of relationship. The kind where when your eyes meet with the one, sparks fly, there’s invisible confetti. Within a year's worth of passionate romance, you get married. Naturally, there's also a certain appeal to watching others fall in love (or, to fulfil voyeuristic fantasies) whilst yearning for the same experience for yourself. Where one favours lovingly crafted stories of timeless fairy tales, a certain, messier genre stands out amongst the rest: reality dating shows.
The many gimmicks that set Better Late than Single which capitalises on watching the older participants stumble through a first love, and Love or Host which keeps viewers guessing who’s here for romance or for fame… are threadbare. The chase of clout is often present, thanks to the highly publicised nature of these shows. Add in the 'competition' among participants for the season’s most eligible bachelor or bachelorette, the inevitable ‘catfights’, and a buffet of beloved romance tropes such as close proximity, fabricated relationship drama, and love triangles (or hexagons) — you’ve got television that’s impossible to look away from.
Just as a book is drafted and written meticulously, these shows and the trajectory of their stories are directed by the producers of these shows. Every aspect promises an eye-catching, yet highly scripted and easy-to-consume storyline — traits closely associated with subpar media that doesn't feed the mind. As such, the repeatable format, the recycled tropes, often lands reality dating television with the displeasing reputation of brain-rotting slop, incapable of respectable commentary on the climate of human relationships.
Producers and showrunners are not oblivious to this, and in fact, capitalise on their infamy. Rather than a highlight reel of heart-fluttering, genuine connection, clips are cleverly edited to paint participants as villainous crooks, seeking to get in the way of the season's “one true pairing”. Women are often thrust into direct competition with one another for the reward of “scoring” the season's most appealing bachelor. A woman’s worth becomes tied to her proximity to men, her hopelessly romantic grievances flattened into a checklist to be filled out: tall, strong, handsome, proof of if he wanted to, he would. Her purpose is reduced, at least in the context of the show, to a single moment, and a single man.
Where most go about their romances with hesitation, reality television encourages boldness beyond measure, punishing those who draw back with lesser screentime or 'evil editing'. Complex situations are simplified into easy binaries; pills are easier to swallow when crushed, and dilemmas are easier to comprehend when painted in black and white. People feel better about their morality when there is something tangible to blame. After all, Monica from Season 3 is no different from Carol of season 8. At its core, reality shows are a spectacle, making a mockery of the nuance behind building romance for those who seek it.
For those conditioned to believe in stable marriage as the natural endgame of their lives, they actively seek romantic attention for validation and fulfilment. It is no surprise, then, that both young and middle-aged women make up the bulk of the audience that showrunners profit off. Though there is much to wonder, what could your ageing mother possibly have in common with your fellow university classmate? Again, we return to the idea of romance.
Perhaps for the young woman, she yearns for affection to passionately sweep her away, lavished with devotion. “Look, Ethan from season 4 of Love Island hugged Rebecca from behind! How I wish I were her!” Alternatively, there is that older perspective, slowly grown, shining with wisdom to pick apart the evils the participants commit with her keen gaze. Perhaps her own marriage has grown distant; perhaps a suspicious new number has popped up on her husband’s phone with a profile photo of a young woman. “Look! Jessica from Season 3 just tried to steal Mariah’s man! How dare she?!”
As someone who has never sought romance with eagerness in my own life, I find myself consuming the genre with unbidden interest. Reality dating in particular, just never found its place in my heart. Perhaps it simply does not resonate with me the same way it does for others, but I do not feel any superior for reading my romance than watching it. (I cannot say the same for others however, those who put others down to stroke their own fragile sense of esteem). Interests associated with women and femininity are often mocked endlessly; romance, the people who enjoy it, are still regarded as frivolous and incomparable to the ‘intellectual’ activity of reading Pride and Prejudice, the only acceptable romance story. Everything else? Trash.
Despite its notoriety as a cesspool of petty drama or a means to fulfil some lecherous, degenerative fantasies, there is something oddly nice in how clearly these shows reveal humanity’s desire for connection. Whether you are an audience member or a participant, I hope you can find what you are looking for.
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